Are You a Dimwit Who Can’t Count or Spell? South Australia Police Wants You!
The South Australia Police force, whose low intelligence and inefficiency is the stuff of legend, is about to get even dumber.
SAPOL is eliminating its basic numeracy and literacy entry tests for new recruits.
SAPOL, you see, is struggling to attract new recruits to its legalized murder and revenue-raising squad.
There have also been some sticky moments in the past regarding current entry procedures. Like the time when one of commissioner Grant Stevens’ kids failed SAPOL’s easy spelling and numeracy tests, so one of the testers illegally corrected the results, but was such a dimwit his corrections were also wrong. This necessitated a malicious campaign against the head of the recruitment section (Doug Barr), who was driven to suicide. Dead men don’t talk, but just to be doubly sure, old mate Grantley showed up at the hospital to console the grieving family while, in an incredible coincidence, his goons ransacked Barr’s house looking for evidence that might incriminate their boss.
To boost recruitment numbers so that SAPOL can maintain its proud tradition of gang-attacking lone unarmed civilians, and to help SAPOL’s top brass secure jobs for their dumb spoiled brat kids without accusations of being the corrupt bastards they are, the cops come up with a solution.
That solution was to completely remove SAPOL”s already lenient numeracy and literacy tests.
Police Minister Stephen Mullighan on Thursday told state parliament the testing had been abolished so more young people could be accepted into the Police Academy.
“I’m advised that the spelling and numeracy requirements that have previously been imposed by SAPOL have been changed in order to not knock back as many particularly young applicants,” he said.
“SAPOL is a bit of an outlier in requiring spelling and numeracy testing or minimum standards before coming into the workforce – It’s not even something that applies to doctors, I’m advised.”
Mulligan is what’s known as an “idiot”. They are quite common in politics.
No, you don’t sit numeracy and literacy tests in order to become a doctor. You just need to first achieve a very high ATAR, then go to university for several years and attain something known as a medical degree, then complete a clinical internship to gain real world experience. Then, and only then, can you go into clinical practice as a doctor.
As a group who can destroy people’s lives by ‘enforcing’ the law, it is incumbent on police to have a sound knowledge of the law. Most cops, however, are ignorant goons who wouldn’t know the law if it crawled up their poop chute and opened a Krispy Kreme outlet. They routinely behave in an unlawful manner, which requires an ongoing whitewash campaign involving rigged ‘internal investigations’, a complicit Office of Public Integrity, and corrupt magistrates and judges.
Just like doctors, lawyers need to achieve a high ATAR or STAT score, then complete a 3-year degree, then pass a Bar exam, before they are allowed to practice as lawyers.
Yet cops, who should have a lawyer-like knowledge of the law, are currently let loose on the public with a bare minimum of literacy and numeracy skills. Those already deficient requirements are now about to be completely scrapped altogether.
Applicants who completed cadet testing after January 1, 2024 and passed the reading and writing component of the application but failed the spelling and numeracy section will be contacted by SAPOL’s recruitment section and invited to progress through to the next stage.
Mullighan said he was not concerned with the removal of the assessments, but Opposition Police spokesman Jack Batty said the revelation laid bare the extent of SAPOL’s recruitment and retention crisis.
“These are extraordinary measures in a frantic attempt to paper over Labor’s hopeless under resourcing of South Australia Police,” he said.
Meanwhile, Mullighan also confirmed that SA Police remained 109 full-time equivalent officers short of the amount of officers for which it is funded.
He said SAPOL was not going to achieve its target of having a full complement of FTE officers by its deadline of June 30.
Law Society of South Australia President Marissa Mackie on Friday said a “base level of numeracy and literacy should be required for members of the police force”.
“Police officers are required to regularly write statements and reports, which are often central to the prosecution of criminal matters,” she said.
“Poorly written statements can lead to misunderstandings and unreliable evidence, and therefore undermine the judicial process.”
Ms Mackie also stressed the importance of numeracy skills.
“Officers who are involved in collecting evidence and investigating crime scenes conduct tasks that require a basic level of numeracy, such as measuring distances and speeds, interpreting timestamps, and constructing timelines of events,” she said.
“A recent Supreme Court judgment has confirmed police officers are not required to be trained in the use of scientific instruments such as blood alcohol testing instruments – This further highlights the importance of officers possessing foundational numeracy and literacy to understand how the instruments operate.”
Veteran Adelaide criminal lawyer, and former police officer, Michael Woods agreed it was “essential” that police officers possessed good spelling and numeracy skills.
“Spelling and grammar are two of the most important things in interpreting the law and applying the law,” he said.
Woods said “if you lower the bar too low, you’re going to end in trouble”.
“You need a command of the English language to put the words down so some lawyer can’t twist them or a court can’t interpret them incorrectly,” he said.
Liberal senator Alex Antic told Sky News, “The first thing I’d say about this is, this actually really shows the crisis that we’ve got in amongst policing”.
“This is just another one that this Labor government is struggling with and having problems with.”
“The answer to this…is not to lower the bar where you’ve turned the police academy at Largs here into the Police Academy starring Tackleberry and Mahoney from the 1980s”.
“This Labor government is papering over this, which is a very very serious problem, law and order being one of the most important things for which a state government can be responsible”.
“I can’t believe this story, I’m absolutely shocked, to be honest”.
You’re not the only one, Alex. Whenever it looks like SAPOL can’t possibly get any worse, the state government and old mate Grant “DPM!” Stevens pull another debacle out of the hat.
